Between You & Me
by GaiaAir
Summary: Ray asks Neela a question she can't answer.
1. Chapter 1

_ER is the property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters that are not part of the TV drama ER are my property (so read, but don't touch :D )_

_ Song: Back to You, by John Mayer_

* * *

_Back to you  
It always comes around  
Back to you  
I tried to forget you  
I tried to stay away  
But it's too late_

"Ray what are you doing here?" Neela asked when she opened the door to Abby's apartment.

"Hi, Neela. How are you? Can I come in?" Without pause, Ray moved past her into the living room.

"Ray," Neela persisted, closing the door and turning around to face him, "what are you doing here?"

"I can't visit?"

"I thought we had decided that we should be…a little distant." Neela finished lamely.

_Over you  
I'm never over  
Over you  
Something about you  
It's just the way you move  
The way you move me_

"No, Neela, _we_ didn't decide that. You did. And that's fine with me and I understand. But now I want to decide something. And I _need_ you to be honest with me. I know you know how I feel about you and me. But I don't know what you feel."

Neela looked at him in disbelief. She could feel anger stir up inside her and she struggled to maintain control. "I can't believe you just asked me that, Ray. Especially after what's happened—"

_I'm so good at forgetting  
And I quit every game I play  
But forgive me, love  
I can't turn and walk away_

"No, Neela," Ray interrupted. "I'm not pressuring you into anything. And I know that you may think it's selfish. But you need to understand what I'm trying to say. I can't stand watching you suffer and it's so hard to stay away from you when all I want is to hug you and tell you that everything will be okay. But you told me to stay away and I am doing that. You know that I care about you. A lot. And I just want to know if you care about me too?"

_Back to you  
It always comes around  
Back to you  
I walk with your shadow  
I'm sleeping in my bed  
With your silhouette_

The anger Neela had felt dissipated and instead she felt unsettled under Ray's anxious, probing gaze. "Of course I care about you Ray. I didn't know rocker boys could turn out to be such good friends."

The muscle in Ray's jaw twitched and he glanced down at his shoes and chuckled ruefully. "Yeah I guess. But apparently we just can't compare to EMS guys."

There was an awkward silence between the two, but Neela could swear that she heard all that she and Ray had shared slipping from her hands, crashing to the floor, and she could only watch stupidly.

"Ray…"

"No. It's okay," Ray said, smiling tightly up at her. "It's okay, Neela. I'll see you at work." He moved away, walking toward the door.

_Should have smiled in that picture  
If it's the last that I'll see of you  
It's the least that you  
Could not do_

"Ray, wait." Neela reached out and put her hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I promise I will tell you when I know the answer."

Ray nodded and walked out. Neela closed the door behind him softly.

_Leave the light on,  
I'll never give up on you,  
Leave the light on,  
For me too, for me too_

That night, in bed, Neela cried for her dead husband, her ex-roomie, and her new boyfriend and the uncertain future.

_Back to me  
I know that it comes  
Back to me  
Doesn't it scare you  
Your will is not as strong  
As it used to be_

That night, as Ray chugged down beers, he realized that he would have to move on. And that shattered him.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for your reviews.

All ER characters are property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters are my own so again, enjoy but no taking.

* * *

CHAPTER 2

_One month later._

The rude ringing of the phone interrupted Ray's sleep. It was just as well since he had been having unsettling dreams. But the fatigue from the last few weeks at the ER had taken its toll and he felt as though he was on the brink of collapse.

"What?" Ray barked into the phone.

"Good morning to you too." Laura replied, a smile in her voice. Ray glanced at his alarm clock. It flashed the painful truth: 7 am.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm waiting for you at the train station."

That caught Ray's attention. "What? Laura, you're here? In Chicago?"

"No. This is all a dream, Ray. I figured since you don't let me visit you in real life, why don't I haunt your dreams?"

Ray groaned. Laura was here. In Chicago. Now. "God, Laura. Did you know that it's polite to inform people that you'll be arriving and taking over their homes?"

"I could've just taken the cab to your apartment you know. At least I called beforehand."

"Let me guess. You didn't have enough for the cab fare?"

"Oh, you're so funny. Just come get us, will you?" Laura hung up.

Ray sighed and got ready.

* * *

Ray stood in the middle of Union Station, amid a multitude of bustling people, searching for Laura.

"Ray! Ray, I'm over here!" Ray turned towards where he thought Laura was, and lo and behold, there she was. He couldn't help but give in and smile at the pleasure of seeing her. He jogged over to her and in one smooth move, gathered her in a tight embrace. After several seconds he finally released her.

He took his time appraising her and laughingly she turned to the side for his inspection. "Have you gotten chubbier around the middle?"

Alarm shot into her eyes, and her hands immediately went to her belly, squeezing and pinching to gauge the truth of that remark. Only Ray's teasing laughter distracted her. She playfully smacked him on the arm.

After quieting down, Ray finally realized that he had yet to welcome his other guest. Bending down onto one knee, he peered beneath the stroller's hood to see sleeping Meg's cherubic face. It had been a long time since he had seen her beautiful face and he felt a pang of shame for not being more present in her life.

"Hi, baby girl." Reaching in he gently pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Wow, Laura. She's grown so much."

"I brought her with me to make you feel guilty for being inattentive."

Ray shook his head slowly, "Well, it sure worked."

"It's okay, Ray. Don't worry about it."

Ray called in sick that day so he could spend time with Laura and Meg. He made pancakes while Laura tucked Meg into Neela's old bed. He could hear her singing softly but couldn't make out the words.

"What were you singing to her?" Ray asked when Laura reappeared in the kitchen.

"'_Imagine_.' I figure it's never too early to teach your kid about world peace and tolerance."

"Well, I'm very proud of you," Ray said and pressed a kiss on her cheek and simultaneously pressed the flipper into her palm. "You're a good mom. Who would've thought?"

Laura laughed but sobered quickly, adeptly taking up the cooking. "Ray, my visit here might be long term."

Ray turned slowly from the refrigerator. "What do you mean?"

"I left him. I left Joel." Laura stated calmly, turning off the stove and prepared a plate of pancakes for herself and Ray. The only gesture that gave her away was the shivering of her hands as she placed the plate in front of Ray. Ray reached over and squeezed her hand tightly. "Why?"

"He was cheating on me."

Stars exploded into Ray's periphery and his grip on Laura's hand tightened in anger. "That fucking bastard!"

"Ray! Calm down! You'll wake the baby." Laura exclaimed.

Ray massaged his temples and his shook his head in apology. "Where is he now?"

"He's at the house."

"_He_ kicked _you_ out?!"

"No. I just couldn't bear to be in that house. I had to get away. So I came here. I hope you don't mind."

"God, Laura, of course I don't mind. I just feel like killing the sonovabitch. With my bare hands. Dammit, I'm going to find the fuckhead and castrate him. _Without_ morphine."

"Trust me, that sounds incredibly tempting but we're adults. We can't do that." Laura said, regretfully.

Ray stood up and hugged Laura again. He whispered into her dark, curly hair, "How are you dealing with this?"

"I don't know. I try to make myself so busy that I don't have time to think about it. But then at night, it comes back, all the hurt and pain."

_That makes the two of us_, Ray thought, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it hurt too much. Love is supposed to be forever and when you realize that not everyone feels that way it cuts you. And it's so hard to live in a world with sunshine and happiness feeling the way you do. It's shaming."

"You should've still told me! I love you too. I would've taken care of you."

"I know. But I couldn't bear to see you. You would be so good to me; so kind. I couldn't bear it. And besides, no matter who was with me, the only person who could move past it would have to be me."

"And have you? Moved past it I mean?"

"No, it still hurts. Every time I look at Meg it hurts. But I've accepted that Joel isn't a part of our life anymore. And some days that hurts but most of the time it helps."

Ray looked across the table at her in awe. A beautiful woman who he loved and he was watching her hurting. Hurting so much. But she was still able to smile, to live, to take care of someone else who needed her. He felt guilt and shame penetrate his anger. But most of all he felt sadness.

"What's the matter, Ray?"

"It hurts me that you're hurting." Ray said, smiling at her sadly. He got up and pulled her out of her chair and drew her into a fierce embrace. "I've missed you."

Laura pulled away and smiled. "I've missed you too. More than you know."

Meg's shriek interrupted them but Ray stopped Laura from getting up. "You relax. I'll see to her." Ray squeezed her hand before leaving for Neela's room.

Laura resettled herself into the chair. And grinned when she heard Ray's voice crooning '_Imagine_.'

_You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope someday you'll join us  
And the world will live as one_

John Lennon, _Imagine_

* * *

_Please Read & Review--make me happy. :D  
_

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	3. Chapter 3

* * *

_ER is the property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters that are not part of the TV drama ER are my property (so read, but don't touch :D ) Please R&R!!!_

* * *

CHAPTER 3

Neela sleepily sought her bed partner and was forced to jerk her eyes open when she didn't find anyone. "Tony?"

"I'm right here." Tony said as he pulled on his shirt, searching for his pants on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Neela asked, sleepily.

"I've got to go to the ER." Tony shoved his wallet into his back pocket before going to Neela placing a long, soft kiss on her lips. Neela smiled as he turned and left. Nestling back into the sea of covers, Neela closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

Neela was cleaning her room when she came across Tony's watch. Grinning, she put it back on the nightstand. She thought of their night. He had taken her to a new restaurant and afterwards they had had a hot, steamy night. It had been great. Tony was, surprisingly, a very thoughtful lover. He had made sure that she was okay throughout. He probably knew that she had not had sex since Michael had been here.

Neela's thoughts turned, not unexpectedly, to her late husband. They had never really had time after their wedding to get to know each other. She felt as though she had been married to a wonderful, kind, handsome man who had left her behind in every way. She often felt cheated. Cheated out of a life with Michael; cheated that she had never gotten to know him. And now, she was experiencing guilt. As if she was cheating on Michael. But how could you be unfaithful when your husband was dead? When he had cheated her out of "sickness and in health" and gone straight to the "until death do us part." _He_ had let go of _her_. She was the one who had been wronged. _Neela, you can't think that way!_ Neela chastised herself, _It's wrong!_

But this was not the first time she had become angry with Michael. It happened often; she would veer crazily to and from anger and sadness. She felt so angry sometimes; that if Michael were in front of her she would hurt him for doing this to her. Making her a crazy person. And then when she had seen Tony again, as an intern, she recalled that flirtatious attraction she had shared with him on her EMS round. There was something about Tony that made it very easy for her to be attracted to him. He was a safe choice for a fling. He seemed like he got around and she didn't really know enough about him except that he was extremely sexy. Not as sexy as Ray but definitely sexy.

Ray. She still had to return the keys to the apartment. She remembered that he was off today and after grocery shopping she would stop by at her old place and resign that life. But she didn't feel sadness. When it came to Ray, she didn't know how she felt.

* * *

"Meggie, _please_ go to sleep." Laura begged her daughter. "I'm really tired. Mommy needs her sleep sweetheart."

But Meg only pouted and turned her gorgeous green eyes to her mother. Looking into her daughter's beautiful eyes, Laura melted and kissed her chubby cheeks. Just as Meg was falling asleep there was a pounding on the door. Before her daughter could open her eyes at this disruption and before the stranger could knock again, Laura had already opened the main door. She was stared down by a petite, pretty, wide-eyed Indian woman.

Neela quickly shook her head and extended her hand. "Hello, I'm Dr. Rasgotra. A friend of Ray's."

"Oh, hello! It's always nice to meet Ray's friends. I hardly get to meet any; I think he's embarrassed of me."

Neela had no idea why. Laura was one of the most striking women she had ever encountered. Neela had always been practical and being beautiful had never been a priority. But now, sitting across from Laura on her sofa, her _ex_-sofa, Neela felt pangs of jealousy.

"Ray stepped out for a minute to buy some groceries. Can I get you anything, Dr. Rasgotra?"

"No, thank you. I just came to speak to Ray."

"Oh, well, he'll be back in about 15 minutes. Maybe thirty. Ray kind of goes crazy at grocery stores."

Neela laughed at that. "Yes, I know. How long have you known each other?"

"Oh, forever. Ray and I have a very special, complicated relationship. I'm assuming the two of you work together?"

But Neela's good mood was gone. "Yes, we work together. I—"

Meg's cry swept the apartment and Laura got up apologetically. "I'm sorry, if you can excuse me just for a minute, I just need to see to my daughter." Laura came back with her little lady, tears staining her cherubic face. But all Neela could see were the emerald eyes the baby possessed, in the arms of a beautiful, voluptuous woman. And all thought shut down.

"Her eyes are just like—Excuse me, I need to go now."

And then Neela fled.

_I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed  
Stuck in the middle  
And I'm paralyzed  
I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed  
The only way to cope   
Is to realize_

Rock Kills Kid, _Paralyzed_


	4. Chapter 4

_ER is the property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters that are not part of the TV drama ER are my property (so read, but don't touch :D )_

_As always, please R&R!!!_

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Ray had had a very harrowing day. Weaver's bitch mode had gone to an all new high today, Morris had been getting on his nerves, the interns couldn't figure anything out, and then Neela had been acting cold towards him. More so than usual anyway. All Ray wanted right now was an ice cold beer and his guitar.

But he could hear before even opening the door the crying of a baby. Sighing, Ray walked in, yelled out "I'm home!" to anybody who cared, and collapsed on the couch. Meg's shrieks escalated and Ray began to get upset.

"Laura! Maybe you can't hear from all Meg's screaming, but the entire block is yelling at you to put a sock in that baby's mouth."

Laura emerged from the bathroom and sent Ray a scowl. "Jeez, Ray, you're such an ass sometimes. And why don't you just get up and help the baby?"

"It's not my probl—" The words had no sooner left his mouth before Laura was sending him a death glare. If Ray hadn't known her better, he would've run the hell out of there. "Look, I'm _tired_."

That angered Laura even more it seemed. "Don't you think I'm ever tired?! I'm exhausted. Between dealing with your crap and Meg's crap, don't you think I have a little right to my own crap?"

Ray blinked and didn't respond. He was still trying to work out if she meant that literally or figuratively. Laura stared at him, sighed with exasperation and moved past him to comfort Meg. Ray got his beer and after a few sips, leaned against the doorframe of Laura and Meg's room. He watched as Laura cuddled and cooed to Meg, singing silly little rhymes and talking baby-talk. It was too much.

"Laura, I'm leaving."

"Ray? Where are—"

But by then the doors had already been slammed shut.

* * *

Ray wandered over to the closest bar and settled onto a bar stool. Besides him, there were only six other people in the bar. All seeming to be there for the same reason he had shown up.

But Ray honestly had no idea what had come over him. Usually, even when he was pissed, he was fairly easygoing and he had always been able to push what was bothering him to the back of his mind. But it had become too much. It seemed like everything was falling and breaking around him but not once did anything fall on _him_. Relieve him of his misery. _Life is _not_ fair_.

It was _everything_. Everything was getting to him. But mostly it was the women. There were too many women in his life. There had been Zoë, Neela, and now Laura and Meg. Too many damn women!

His affair with Zoë had been a complete mess. Just thinking about it now made him cringe. But to be completely fair he had been grateful in a way that he had become involved with Zoë. If he hadn't, he doubted Zoë would have ever been able to escape her ass of a father.

And Neela. She was the missing piece in his life. The one that made the entire puzzle whole but didn't fit in any particular spot. Ray loved her. He didn't know when or how it happened but he just did. She was beautiful and so morally grounded but that never stopped her whip of a tongue from lashing out. She was the only one who felt that he was truly capable of more. According to her, he did have a brain, talent, and a heart. Most people just stereotyped him as a 'rocker' and for the longest time Ray had accepted and believed that. But then Neela had come along and she had seen in him someone who was not just a rocker. And then Ray had begun to see what she saw. And then she had left.

"What's the matter with you?"

Ray turned and saw a beautiful, hazel-eyed blonde and he felt his "special" grin take over his face. But the words that he spoke were honest. "A lot of things."

"Join the rest of the world."

Ray felt obligated to ask, "Why, what happened to you?"

"You really want to know?"

Ray looked into her hazel eyes and saw his pain reflected in them. "Yeah, why not?"

She smiled ruefully. "I've given up love."

Ray closed his eyes and matched her grin. "Why?"

"Because he didn't love me back."

"So you're just giving up?"

"I feel like shit. I don't like feeling like shit. I don't like other people making me feel like shit. So, yeah."

"What happened?"

"It's a long, funny, complicated story. Girl, a.k.a me, dates guy. Girl, a.k.a me, falls in love with guy. Guy breaks up with girl, a.k.a me, and start's dating best friend. Girl, a.k.a me, is without boyfriend or best friend. Life's a bitch, ain't it?"

Ray nodded slowly, sympathizing, "It sure as hell is."

* * *

Laura didn't think she'd ever been so angry in her entire life. She knew Ray well and it pissed her off that he wasn't home yet. He had a habit of keeping things to himself and running off when things got too much to handle. But he had _never_ been this late.

"Ray, where the hell were you?" Laura yelled softly when Ray stumbled through the door.

"Relax, Laura. I'm home. I'm in one piece. So relax."

Now Laura became really worried. Ray was not drunk. Not even a little tipsy. Something was very, very wrong.

"Ray, what's the matter? You're scaring me."

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter, Laura. Go to sleep."

"No, Ray, I want to know what happened." Laura led him to the sofa and pressed him down and then sat down next to him, tucking her feet beneath her.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad."

"For fuck's sake, Laura, no wonder Joel left you." Ray froze.

Laura smirked—she had been hoping to spark a response like that. Now Ray would have a huge guilt trip and tell her what his problems were. She knew Ray too well.

"God, Laura, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I was just upset. I'm sorry."

Laura smiled softly. "I know, Ray. You've been so incredibly supportive and haven't asked for anything in return. I just want to help you. Please tell me what's bothering you. I'm your best friend, remember?"

Ray squeezed his eyes shut. That sentence sounded familiar. "I don't know Laura. I guess it's just people. They disappoint you. They hurt you. Then, they leave you."

"Was it that Neela girl, who broke your heart? Because if I see her again, I swear to God, I'll hurt her."

"No!" Ray interjected quickly. "Go easy on her. Her husband died in the war. She's picking up a lot of pieces herself."

Laura smiled guiltily. "I didn't know. So, do you love her?"

Ray paused and stillness descended upon him. He knew he loved Neela but he had never said it aloud let alone admitted it to someone. "Yes. I love Neela."

"Oh, Ray," Laura said. "I'm so sorry. Does she know?"

"I've never said it to her. But I think she knows how I feel."

"How long has it been since she's known?"

"A few months. She's going out with this new intern, Gates. Tony Gates."

They both fell silent, both lost deep in thought.

"Ray has there been anyone, besides Neela, that you've ever deeply loved?"

Again the silence. This time Laura thought Ray wouldn't answer. But he did.

"You."

"Oh." Laura muttered. "After our relationship ended, did you think you would ever love someone again?"

"No."

"But then Neela came along and changed that, didn't she?"

Ray had no idea where she was going with this but nodded in the affirmative.

"How long have you loved Neela?"

"I don't really know. But it feels like it's been a long time."

"Ray, you need to let go of her."

"_What_?!"

"You're waiting for a woman who's widowed and dating someone else. You're suffering and no one knows how much time she'll need. So are you going to wait forever, if that's how long it ends up taking?"

"I thought that was what love was about."

"Ray what about loving yourself? Don't you think you deserve love?"

"It's not that easy. You can't just give up loving someone."

"I know. _Trust me_, I know. And I'd be disappointed in you if you did just give up loving her. But you need to start pushing your love to the back of your mind."

"I work with her. It's not that easy."

"Working with her is the ultimate test. Avoiding someone isn't going to help. You have to face your problems head on." Laura was quiet for a minute before continuing. "And Ray, I know how hard it is. I'm telling you this from personal experience. We're going to help each other through this."

"I don't know, Laura. I don't know if I can do that."

Laura stared at him hard and then abruptly leaned over and gave him a quick hug before getting up. "Think about it. Good night, Ray."

Ray nodded and remained on the couch. He had a lot of thinking to do.

_I've been dreaming  
Of the things I've learnt  
About a boy who's bleeding  
celebrate to elevate  
The joy is not the same  
Without the pain_

Badly Drawn Boy_, Something to Talk About_


	5. Chapter 5

_ER is the property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters that are not part of the TV drama ER are my property (so read, but don't touch :D )_

_As always, please R&R!!!_

* * *

CHAPTER 5

Ray had considered what Laura had said. And she was right. One hundred per cent correct. And yet he still felt like shit. It had become a new mantra: "Neela. Good friend. Good colleague. End of story." So today, during work, he treated Neela the same way he treated everyone else. And it was so _damn_ hard. He felt like he was betraying their friendship. Ray sighed as he shut the apartment door. He immediately went to the kitchen to brew himself some coffee.

"Ray? I'm not feeling too good." Laura said, peering over the back of the couch as he made his coffee. Ray looked up after taking a long sip.

"What's the matter?"

"My period."

Ray grimaced. As a doctor he understood the female plight but right now he wasn't at the hospital. He was in guy mode, not doctor mode. Which was why the idea of a period still had the ability to gross him out on a basic guy level. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Your sympathy is overwhelming." Laura snapped. "Take care of Meg tonight please. She cried all night—"

"Don't I know it." Ray muttered and then grinned at the dark look Laura shot him.

"Just let me have five hours to myself. Consider this a favor."

"Meaning you'd owe me one?" Ray asked.

Laura shrugged and sighed miserably. "Unfortunately yes."

Ray grinned and waved his arms in a welcoming manner. "Bitch away!"

* * *

"Who's the prettiest girl in the whole world?" Ray cooed. "Meggie!"

Meggie broke out into a toothless, drooly grin and Ray experienced a sense of pride. He was currently the custodian of the smartest and most beautiful baby on the playground. He had had no idea what to do with a baby. He was used to treating them, not attending to them. But he had remembered a small playground tucked away near the E.R. It was a beautiful day, warm with a light breeze. Nevertheless, he had bundled up the adorable baby so that all that could be seen were smiling pink lips, plump rosy cheeks, and sparkling green eyes.

Abruptly, Ray reached down and pressed a kiss to the tiny forehead. Meg began to giggle and flail about. Ray looked down at the baby and wondered how he had not been able to find more time to spend with her. How had he lost touch with Laura? She who understood him like no one could. Except for maybe Neela. Ray frowned. Mantra: _Neela is just a friend and colleague. End of story._

But he couldn't help it. While he was busy it was easy to forget his heart troubles with Neela. But it was these quiet, peaceful moments when Neela would creep in and paralyze all other thought.

"GAH!!!" Meg shrilled. Ray was jerked away to reality and stared into Meg's indignant eyes.

Ray tickled her. "Don't worry, baby girl. No one is as beautiful as you." Ray lowered his voice to a whisper. "And, since I know you won't tell anyone, I'm madly in love with you and I always will be."

Meg beamed at him as if she had understood.

"But don't tell any of the other girls. Uncle Ray still needs to get laid."

"Ray!"

Ray turned and gulped.

Neela strode forward with baby stroller and baby Joe in tow. "What are you doing here?"

Ray smiled. "Hey! I'm here on a date."

Neela looked around for Laura but couldn't see here anywhere. "I don't see Laura anywhere."

"Laura and I aren't dating. It's someone else."

Neela looked at him appraisingly. "Oh. Who?"

Ray grinned and moved aside. "Miss Meg finally said yes to appearing in public with me."

_I wouldn't mind appearing in public with you,_ Neela quickly suppressed the thought. She had been extremely relieved when she had heard that he wasn't dating Laura.

Ray looked between Joe and Neela. "So you got saddled with babysitting too?"

Ray watched as Neela smiled and nodded. It was so easy to be around her. To let her be number one to him again. To want to touch her and hold her and inhale her. Ray shivered.

Neela arched an eyebrow. "Feeling cold?"

Ray shrugged nonchalantly, "Just a little. Time to take Meg home so that her mom doesn't get too worried about us."

"Oh." Neela said disappointedly. "So how's Laura. I met her a few weeks ago."

"Oh she's great. She isn't feeling too well right now so I'm in charge of Meg."

Neela wasn't sure how to ask what had been bothering her for weeks. "So how do you know Meg?"

Ray smiled softly and let past memories take over. "She was—_is_—my best friend. She's known me since I was ten years old. We grew up together. Her mom was my mom's best friend. We dated on and off. And we kept in touch when we went to college but it was a lot harder. Then I went to medical school and she got married to my half-cousin and we slowly lost touch."

"Wow," Neela said softly, and if she admitted it to herself, jealously. "Lot of history."

"Yeah," Ray said, remembering his past. Neela realized that all she knew of Ray was the here and now; she had no idea how Ray became the way he was. Another pang of jealousy hit.

"How long did you guys date?"

"Well we dated on and off but I think we dated maybe three years total?" Ray estimated.

"Wow. When did you guys start dating?"

"When we were twelve."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You know me too well." Ray joked and then froze. He could see the uncertainty on Neela's face. "Well it's time for me to go home. See you at work, Neela. Bye Joe."

Ray picked up Meg and started walking away. That's what he had to do. Walk away from Neela. At a safe distance, he turned around to glance at her one more time and his heart leapt to his throat.

Neela was tossing Joe up in the air and laughing. Neela's hair floated around her face with the breeze. He could hear her laughter in his mind's ears. She was so beautiful. She shone inside-out with her unbelievable caring intelligence and that stubborn intolerability for stupidity. How was he supposed to unlove her?

But he had to. Laura was right. Neela had decided what to do about them before and now it was his turn to decide what to do with his love. It was time to move on. Not because Laura had said it or because Neela wouldn't. It was time to let go because that's what he needed. He needed to find his sanity again. He had to find Ray—the guy who had wanted to be a rock star but became a doctor. The guy who had wanted to be cool but ended up being caring. She had helped him mature. But now he had to be Ray without Neela. It was time to let go of her. It was time to say good bye.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you._

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

James Blunt, _Goodbye My Lover_


End file.
